Next Show:10th Anniversary Show! // Mar 15 at 8:00pm // PianoFight, SF

Stand-Up Thursdays: Kids

Kids are awesome, unless they suck. Let's face it, kids are little people, full of their own ideas, opinions, wants, needs, and desires, but they tend to not have as many socially constructed barriers that help keep these driving forces at bay. While this does make them more open and expressive, it also can turn them into little shits if they're tired, hungry, really want that scope of ice cream, or any number of other occurrences they see as grave offenses.

Case in point:
This is Zoe. She is this many (holds up four fingers). Zoe attends the preschool at the JCC and is the official President of my unofficial fan club. She usually stops by to tell me about her day and give me fliers from the rack next to the Box Office. Sometimes she comes to the Box Office with her buddies Hannah and Ariella, sometimes alone, sometimes with mom or grandma, but there is one thing that is a constant: the chocolate ice cream smeared on her face. I never actually see the destruction she must cause to her daily after-school treat, but I assume it is a joyous event with lots of high pitched squeals and brain freezes.

While Zoe seems little a cute, perfect, little angle, I know the dark truth, but it took me some time. One afternoon after Zoe's class had taken a field trip, Zoe's mom was in a rush to pick up Zoe and head home. I saw Zoe whining for her ice cream, not throwing a full on tantrum or even crying too loudly. Her mom seemed totally oblivious to Zoe's whimpers. As they were nearing the door, Zoe's mom had finally had enough and said, "Zoe, if you don't stop this right now, there will be no ice cream the rest of the week!" I was a little suprised and wondered what had promped such a harsh response. I couldn't help but thinking, "I'll never treat my kids that way."

That was until I saw Louis C.K.'s stand-up special, I now know the dark truth.



  1. this just made me smile. first one all day!!!

  2. I get it. Something can't be that isn't...

    It's so simple...